November spawned a monster

Historical miserabilist Winston Churchill was
born in November. Photograph: PA“No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member“

Tell me about it. That’s how it started for me, and to be honest, it doesn’t get any easier.

”No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds -
November!”

Yes, it’s an aching monstrosity of a month, and as psychologists have now discovered, if you check in during November, the feeling never really leaves you. Those May babies are sunny, optimistic, lucky, lucky, lucky. We November kids may as well give up.

The scientific hypothesis is that the lack of daylight hours may adversely affect brain development in the foetus, and messes with something called dopamine. There - I didn’t even know I had any and it turns out mine’s not right. Typical.